Father Gore and the Church of Climatology

In his Inauguration speech, President Obama said of his administration, “We will restore science to its rightful place…” What President Obama really meant was: All of you whacks out there clinging to your Bibles and guns straighten up. If you don’t agree with abortion, stem cell research, the elimination of the entire coal and oil industries, Cap and Trade, and Al Gore’s deluded Global Warming Apocalypse, then you’re an idiot.

It is clear that the Obama Administration, and the entire Democratic Party for that matter, plan to use the “Science Card” as reason for shoving a Liberal agenda on the American people. The implication is: the facts lie with the Liberal side and that Conservatives, in their abundant ignorance, make irrational decisions because of their lack of facts. The fact is that science is not always right and the “scientific facts” as they present themselves one day are not always accurate the next. For instance…

“Oh, Chris Columbus, you fool, it is scientific fact that the world is flat…idiot Conservative”—Alberto Gore (Spain, 1491)

“Galileo Galilei, it is scientific fact that the sun revolves around the earth…you stupid Conservative. You even have the same first and last name! Your parents were morons too!”—Albertanicus Gore (Italy, 1610)

“Albert Einstein, you are a jerk. It is scientific fact that Newton was right about gravity. This space-time curvature thing you speak of is ignorant, non-scientific, Conservo-speak.” – Albertus von Gore (Austria, 1916)

Al Gore made his annual pilgrimage to Washington this week (ironically in the middle of a winter storm) to cry out to the masses once again that the end of the world was imminent due to global warming. In his opening remarks, Senator Kerry said about global warming, “Frankly, the science is screaming at us.”

The science is NOT screaming that Gore’s theory of global warming due to human beings is wholly accurate and true. In fact, there are a large number renowned scientists (now relegated as heretics in the Church of Climatology) who believe that the warming trend observed by scientists is part of naturally occurring cycles of nature, including solar flares and sunspots. Data show that 2008 was the coldest year in the last decade and that just happened to coincide with the end of a cycle of solar flares and sunspot activity. In addition, there has been no significant warming since 1998. The average rate of warming (0.1-0.2 degrees C) is consistent with known rates of warming and cooling over the last 10,000 years. And, recent measurements show that some of the polar ice caps that have been retreating are now advancing. Some have even theorized that the Earth is heading into a mini-Ice Age. The great thing for the Left about Global Warming Theory is it will take 1,000 years before anyone can prove them wrong…again.

Ironically, the Church of Climatology has started to move away from the phrase “Global Warming”; the new catch phrase is “Global Climate Change”. This way, if the Earth gets warmer, colder, snowier, rainier, drier, or just stays the same, Father Gore and his Church of Climatology can claim victory in its theology and continue to push their true agenda: environmental socialism.