Let me paraphrase another quote by Ronald Reagan to describe the Left’s current economic policy: “If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.” This economic policy is evident in the stimulus bill recently passed by the House of Representatives. Estimated costs of the House bill, including interest will exceed $1 trillion…that’s right TRILLION with a “T”.
How exactly does $200 million to rehabilitate the National Mall bring jobs back to America? How is the National Endowment for the Arts going to use its $50 million to stop home foreclosures? $600 million for the Federal government to update its fleet of cars to alternative fuel vehicles (with no requirement that such a contract go to US automakers)? $300 million dollars for Global Warming Research will hardly instill more confidence in the American consumer. Speaker of the House Pelosi even tried to get hundreds of millions of dollars earmarked for contraceptives. And now we learn that $1.8 billion has been given to the National Park Service, whose chief lobbyist is the son of the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act’s chief sponsor David Obey (D-WI). Make no mistake about it. The American Recovery and Reinvestment Act (H.R. 1) passed in the House of Representatives is neither economically stimulating nor will it quicken the end to the current recession the United States has found itself in. In reality, if the law as it is written is passed in the Senate, it will be the final nail in the economic coffin of the United States.
Most concerning with this Bill is the way in which it was shoved through the House with such speed. Such haste suggests that the authors of the bill and the Democratically-controlled Congress did not want time for the American people to see what was really in the Bill. The Bill, in actuality, is not a stimulus package, but a veiled attempt by the Left to permanently impose upon the American people its Liberal agenda. This Bill is a hodgepodge of spending meant to implement or increase entitlement programs that the Left had been unable to do until they had control. There are no longer checks and balances left in the Federal government and thus, there was no attempt at bi-partisan cooperation. Essentially, Speaker Pelosi and President Obama went to the House Republicans and said, “Come along or reap the consequences of denying the Messiah’s demands.”
Naysayers are being called “unpatriotic”, “un-American”, and are being derided by Democratic Congressional leadership as being obstructionist. To the Republicans in Congress I say, “Let the Democrats own this.” This will be the second stimulus package passed by a Democratically controlled Congress that wasted taxpayer money. This time, there is no Bush to kick around and blame. When it fails to produce jobs, or an economic turnaround, they will have no one to blame but themselves.
Why am I so confident it will fail? Because the Bill does not diagnose the problem and then create solutions to those problems, it simply throws money at the entitlement-dependent voting blocs the Democrats wish to appease for the next election. This bill is heavy in spending and light on tax cuts. That formula has never worked. More government spending will eventually result in higher taxes for someone, which means less money being spent in the market, which is the basic definition of a recession. There is a certain amount of money (call it XY) available to be spent; if you take X amount of money from one group and give X amount to another you have not injected more money into the market, you have simply redistributed (now YX). Ah, yes, Mr. Obama told Mr. “the Plumber” that was exactly what he intended to do.
Any economic stimulus package needs to inject money into the market to encourage people to buy products, companies to hire (or stop laying off) workers, and to restore confidence of the American consumer. How is that done? Look to North Dakota. That state has a Republican governor and a Republican legislature. They have cut spending and cut taxes and this year, they have a surplus…that’s right a surplus.
Cut the Federal budget and the Federal government: This is counterintuitive to most politicians…especially those on the Left. STOP SPENDING and STOP MANDATING!!!! Some states and businesses are in dire economic straits because of federal mandates such as Emissions Standards and No Child Left Behind. The Republican Congress of the 1990s forced President Clinton to do this (cut the Federal government) and allowed the 1990s to be a boom period…President Bush should have continued this. Unfortunately, his government spent money like he had a (D-TX) behind his name.
Tax breaks: The majority of the stimulus package should be in the form of payroll tax breaks for working Americans (not rebate checks, especially for those who never paid any taxes to begin with) and tax breaks for businesses—ALL businesses. Part of the reason why businesses are trimming payroll and moving overseas is because of the ridiculously high 35% business tax. Cut that rate by 10%-15%, save companies like Ford and Microsoft millions of dollars, and they will hire more people. Here is a fact: EVERYTIME the tax rate has been cut, government revenue has gone up! Imagine what you would do with an extra $100-$500 in your paycheck every month…you’d spend it. It is hard to argue, and not be disingenuous, that lower taxes result in the injection of more money into the consumer market.
Mortgage Assistance: Another major part of the stimulus needs to be direct assistance to mortgage holders. Guaranteed government loans should be implemented so that people could, despite lower home values, refinance into more affordable mortgages. This program should be open to ALL mortgage holders…even those who are paying their mortgages on time. Add this to your tax cut and you are looking at maybe $1000 extra per month to spend.
Fund Private Infrastructure Improvement Programs: This is one part of the economic stimulus package I agree with (kind of). Give money to private companies to be used for improving the power grid, expanding telecommunications, improving roads and bridges, etc. The government does not have to lead these projects.
Bailout States: Give states the money they need to counteract budget shortfalls for this year only. The stipulation: each state has to pass a law saying that the state budget cannot be increased by more than the inflation rate + 2% per year for the next 10 years (or longer). In other words, force the states to cut spending also.
Cut the Capital Gains Tax: I know, some of you are saying, “Why help out Wall Street?” Because cutting the Capital Gains Tax doesn’t just help Wall Street, it helps all investors and Americans. It encourages investment in companies which in turn gives companies money to spend on things like hiring more workers.
Pay off Americans’ Credit: I only offer this idea because if you are going to spend $1 trillion you might as well give it directly to the people. Pay off the debt that American’s owe on credit cards. “They will just go out and spend more,” you say. Exactly.
Check out this article on Keynesian Economic Theory (what the stimulus package is based on). http://www.cato.org/pubs/tbb/tbb_0109-52.pdf
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Father Gore and the Church of Climatology
In his Inauguration speech, President Obama said of his administration, “We will restore science to its rightful place…” What President Obama really meant was: All of you whacks out there clinging to your Bibles and guns straighten up. If you don’t agree with abortion, stem cell research, the elimination of the entire coal and oil industries, Cap and Trade, and Al Gore’s deluded Global Warming Apocalypse, then you’re an idiot.
It is clear that the Obama Administration, and the entire Democratic Party for that matter, plan to use the “Science Card” as reason for shoving a Liberal agenda on the American people. The implication is: the facts lie with the Liberal side and that Conservatives, in their abundant ignorance, make irrational decisions because of their lack of facts. The fact is that science is not always right and the “scientific facts” as they present themselves one day are not always accurate the next. For instance…
“Oh, Chris Columbus, you fool, it is scientific fact that the world is flat…idiot Conservative”—Alberto Gore (Spain, 1491)
“Galileo Galilei, it is scientific fact that the sun revolves around the earth…you stupid Conservative. You even have the same first and last name! Your parents were morons too!”—Albertanicus Gore (Italy, 1610)
“Albert Einstein, you are a jerk. It is scientific fact that Newton was right about gravity. This space-time curvature thing you speak of is ignorant, non-scientific, Conservo-speak.” – Albertus von Gore (Austria, 1916)
Al Gore made his annual pilgrimage to Washington this week (ironically in the middle of a winter storm) to cry out to the masses once again that the end of the world was imminent due to global warming. In his opening remarks, Senator Kerry said about global warming, “Frankly, the science is screaming at us.”
The science is NOT screaming that Gore’s theory of global warming due to human beings is wholly accurate and true. In fact, there are a large number renowned scientists (now relegated as heretics in the Church of Climatology) who believe that the warming trend observed by scientists is part of naturally occurring cycles of nature, including solar flares and sunspots. Data show that 2008 was the coldest year in the last decade and that just happened to coincide with the end of a cycle of solar flares and sunspot activity. In addition, there has been no significant warming since 1998. The average rate of warming (0.1-0.2 degrees C) is consistent with known rates of warming and cooling over the last 10,000 years. And, recent measurements show that some of the polar ice caps that have been retreating are now advancing. Some have even theorized that the Earth is heading into a mini-Ice Age. The great thing for the Left about Global Warming Theory is it will take 1,000 years before anyone can prove them wrong…again.
Ironically, the Church of Climatology has started to move away from the phrase “Global Warming”; the new catch phrase is “Global Climate Change”. This way, if the Earth gets warmer, colder, snowier, rainier, drier, or just stays the same, Father Gore and his Church of Climatology can claim victory in its theology and continue to push their true agenda: environmental socialism.
It is clear that the Obama Administration, and the entire Democratic Party for that matter, plan to use the “Science Card” as reason for shoving a Liberal agenda on the American people. The implication is: the facts lie with the Liberal side and that Conservatives, in their abundant ignorance, make irrational decisions because of their lack of facts. The fact is that science is not always right and the “scientific facts” as they present themselves one day are not always accurate the next. For instance…
“Oh, Chris Columbus, you fool, it is scientific fact that the world is flat…idiot Conservative”—Alberto Gore (Spain, 1491)
“Galileo Galilei, it is scientific fact that the sun revolves around the earth…you stupid Conservative. You even have the same first and last name! Your parents were morons too!”—Albertanicus Gore (Italy, 1610)
“Albert Einstein, you are a jerk. It is scientific fact that Newton was right about gravity. This space-time curvature thing you speak of is ignorant, non-scientific, Conservo-speak.” – Albertus von Gore (Austria, 1916)
Al Gore made his annual pilgrimage to Washington this week (ironically in the middle of a winter storm) to cry out to the masses once again that the end of the world was imminent due to global warming. In his opening remarks, Senator Kerry said about global warming, “Frankly, the science is screaming at us.”
The science is NOT screaming that Gore’s theory of global warming due to human beings is wholly accurate and true. In fact, there are a large number renowned scientists (now relegated as heretics in the Church of Climatology) who believe that the warming trend observed by scientists is part of naturally occurring cycles of nature, including solar flares and sunspots. Data show that 2008 was the coldest year in the last decade and that just happened to coincide with the end of a cycle of solar flares and sunspot activity. In addition, there has been no significant warming since 1998. The average rate of warming (0.1-0.2 degrees C) is consistent with known rates of warming and cooling over the last 10,000 years. And, recent measurements show that some of the polar ice caps that have been retreating are now advancing. Some have even theorized that the Earth is heading into a mini-Ice Age. The great thing for the Left about Global Warming Theory is it will take 1,000 years before anyone can prove them wrong…again.
Ironically, the Church of Climatology has started to move away from the phrase “Global Warming”; the new catch phrase is “Global Climate Change”. This way, if the Earth gets warmer, colder, snowier, rainier, drier, or just stays the same, Father Gore and his Church of Climatology can claim victory in its theology and continue to push their true agenda: environmental socialism.
Friday, January 23, 2009
What would Jesus Do? All Proclaimed Messiahs Pay Attention
Hubris.
For years we have been hearing from the mainstream media about the unabashed hubris of President Bush. How his actions showed his arrogance and total disregard for bi-partisanship, cooperation, and the intelligence of the American people. This week, during a session with Republicans on Capitol Hill, President Obama reportedly responded to GOP questioning of his stimulus package (you know, the part where people who don’t pay any taxes get more money back from the government) with:
“I won. I will trump you on that.”
If this isn’t the epitome of arrogance, I don’t know what is—where is Liberal media on this one?
Promises, Shmomises.
President Obama made a pledge that no lobbyists would be allowed to work for his administration in departments they once lobbied and that they would not be allowed to lobby his administration if they left to go back to their lobbying firms. Well, that lasted until the first official needed a waiver from that rule. Bill Lynn, a Defense Department nominee has already been granted a waiver. Way to stick to your guns and “change" the face of politics, Mr. President. Of course, this does go along with the Liberal thinking that there are no such things as steadfast rules…just guidelines.
“Transparency—Could you use that in a sentence, please?”
Earlier in the week President Obama visited the White House Press Room. While on his visit, he was asked a question about the aforementioned Mr. Lynn. The President scorned the reporter for daring to ask him a tough question. Had it not been for one of the media acolytes jumping in and saying “I just want to say it one more time: Mr. President.”, President Obama may have beat the reporter from Politico.
The media is also apparently all in a twist over not being given access to the "re-swearing-in" of Mr. Obama by Justice Roberts that took place in the White House. It seems as though Mr. Obama and his administration are trying to strictly control the flow of information the press has access too—and that’s the opinion of the same press that was in his back pocket throughout the campaign! If transparency really is the goal, Comrade Obama, why stifle the press. After all they should be reporting on every questionable thing your administration does…just like they did with “W”.
Do you take us for idiots?.…Wait, don’t answer that.
One press conference and I can already tell that Robert Gibbs, the White House Press Secretary, and the entire Obama Administration is following the cue of the Clinton Administration: the American people are idiots; if you speak, they will believe.
In talking about President Obama’s executive order to close the military prison at Guantanamo Bay and the mandate that the Army Field Manual be used as a guideline for interrogation, Gibbs said, “We've made our security stronger… the steps that were taken today ensure and enhance the security of the American people.”
WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
If you closed Guantanamo because you believed it was morally wrong, fine. Tell us that.
If you limited interrogation techniques to those from the Army Field Manual because you feel that water boarding and sleep depravation are wrong, fine. Tell us that.
Then there is the tired argument that these moves will protect our troops, make it safer for them if they are captured. When in history has that ever proven to have been true. America has always treated its prisoners of combat with at least a modicum of decency; has that ever been returned by our enemies? Think of the images of our soldiers being dragged through the streets of Mogadishu and videos of Americans being executed on TV by Muslim extremists. Ask John McCain if American treatment of POWs in Vietnam equated to fair treatment at the Hanoi Hilton. Did the Nazis and Japanese return the generosity we showed toward their POWs? Even in our own Civil War places like Andersonville Prison in Georgia were hell holes for US troops who were captured. In so much as Liberals would have no intention of giving me and other Conservatives the same right to make moral judgments that I grant President Obama, our enemies have absolutely no intention of treating Americans nicely just because we are treating their captured nicely. (And honestly, my college dorm room was smaller than those cells at Gitmo). If, however, you believe this. Fine. Tell us that is the reason.
But, don’t feed us some line about these moves improving our security. Make no mistake about it, THEY DIDN’T. I respect the moral objections Mr. Obama has to these things…I don’t agree, but I respect. And, as President, if his moral objections demand that he make these moves, then so be it. These executive orders significantly hamstrung our ability to secure America…to that there is no doubt.
Don’t lie to us St. Barack…Jesus wouldn’t do that.
For years we have been hearing from the mainstream media about the unabashed hubris of President Bush. How his actions showed his arrogance and total disregard for bi-partisanship, cooperation, and the intelligence of the American people. This week, during a session with Republicans on Capitol Hill, President Obama reportedly responded to GOP questioning of his stimulus package (you know, the part where people who don’t pay any taxes get more money back from the government) with:
“I won. I will trump you on that.”
If this isn’t the epitome of arrogance, I don’t know what is—where is Liberal media on this one?
Promises, Shmomises.
President Obama made a pledge that no lobbyists would be allowed to work for his administration in departments they once lobbied and that they would not be allowed to lobby his administration if they left to go back to their lobbying firms. Well, that lasted until the first official needed a waiver from that rule. Bill Lynn, a Defense Department nominee has already been granted a waiver. Way to stick to your guns and “change" the face of politics, Mr. President. Of course, this does go along with the Liberal thinking that there are no such things as steadfast rules…just guidelines.
“Transparency—Could you use that in a sentence, please?”
Earlier in the week President Obama visited the White House Press Room. While on his visit, he was asked a question about the aforementioned Mr. Lynn. The President scorned the reporter for daring to ask him a tough question. Had it not been for one of the media acolytes jumping in and saying “I just want to say it one more time: Mr. President.”, President Obama may have beat the reporter from Politico.
The media is also apparently all in a twist over not being given access to the "re-swearing-in" of Mr. Obama by Justice Roberts that took place in the White House. It seems as though Mr. Obama and his administration are trying to strictly control the flow of information the press has access too—and that’s the opinion of the same press that was in his back pocket throughout the campaign! If transparency really is the goal, Comrade Obama, why stifle the press. After all they should be reporting on every questionable thing your administration does…just like they did with “W”.
Do you take us for idiots?.…Wait, don’t answer that.
One press conference and I can already tell that Robert Gibbs, the White House Press Secretary, and the entire Obama Administration is following the cue of the Clinton Administration: the American people are idiots; if you speak, they will believe.
In talking about President Obama’s executive order to close the military prison at Guantanamo Bay and the mandate that the Army Field Manual be used as a guideline for interrogation, Gibbs said, “We've made our security stronger… the steps that were taken today ensure and enhance the security of the American people.”
WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
If you closed Guantanamo because you believed it was morally wrong, fine. Tell us that.
If you limited interrogation techniques to those from the Army Field Manual because you feel that water boarding and sleep depravation are wrong, fine. Tell us that.
Then there is the tired argument that these moves will protect our troops, make it safer for them if they are captured. When in history has that ever proven to have been true. America has always treated its prisoners of combat with at least a modicum of decency; has that ever been returned by our enemies? Think of the images of our soldiers being dragged through the streets of Mogadishu and videos of Americans being executed on TV by Muslim extremists. Ask John McCain if American treatment of POWs in Vietnam equated to fair treatment at the Hanoi Hilton. Did the Nazis and Japanese return the generosity we showed toward their POWs? Even in our own Civil War places like Andersonville Prison in Georgia were hell holes for US troops who were captured. In so much as Liberals would have no intention of giving me and other Conservatives the same right to make moral judgments that I grant President Obama, our enemies have absolutely no intention of treating Americans nicely just because we are treating their captured nicely. (And honestly, my college dorm room was smaller than those cells at Gitmo). If, however, you believe this. Fine. Tell us that is the reason.
But, don’t feed us some line about these moves improving our security. Make no mistake about it, THEY DIDN’T. I respect the moral objections Mr. Obama has to these things…I don’t agree, but I respect. And, as President, if his moral objections demand that he make these moves, then so be it. These executive orders significantly hamstrung our ability to secure America…to that there is no doubt.
Don’t lie to us St. Barack…Jesus wouldn’t do that.
Advice from Former Residents of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Being President is a difficult job. I would say, “I don’t know why anyone would want to be President…” but, I would like to be President, so I won’t say that. I wonder what advice former Presidents would give Mr. Obama as he enters the White House?
George W. Bush: “Trust your moral beliefs about what is best for this country. Stand firm in those because, at the end of the day, that is all you will have. Public opinion is too easily influenced to be trusted. Don’t trust the other party with "bi-partisan bills", because they will abandon you and blame only you the second something goes wrong. And if a hurricane is about to hit a city, send every available man under 60 to help…otherwise, you’ll be blamed for a weak response.”
Bill Clinton: “If you see an intern walk by the Oval Office, be cool and say…” [That’s way too easy].
George H. W. Bush: “Don’t say anything that begins with, ‘Read my lips…’. Like maybe, ‘Read my lips, no lobbyists in my administration.’"
Ronald Reagan: “Get the hell out of my White House you Pinko-Commie!”
Jimmy Carter: “Just try to be nice to everyone…and…well…I…I really didn’t know what I was doing when I was in the White House so, maybe you better listen to Reagan.”
Richard Nixon: “Get rid of that Blackberry. Evidence. Evidence.”
Franklin Roosevelt: “Call all your Socialist plans something catchy like the New Deal and no one will notice. Heck, my policies took the country from a depression into a Great Depression and I still was able to blame that schlep Hoover. Do the same with Bush.”
James Madison: “You, Pelosi, and Lefty Judges-- READ THE CONSTITUTION…I wrote it for a reason. Follow it!”
George W. Bush: “Trust your moral beliefs about what is best for this country. Stand firm in those because, at the end of the day, that is all you will have. Public opinion is too easily influenced to be trusted. Don’t trust the other party with "bi-partisan bills", because they will abandon you and blame only you the second something goes wrong. And if a hurricane is about to hit a city, send every available man under 60 to help…otherwise, you’ll be blamed for a weak response.”
Bill Clinton: “If you see an intern walk by the Oval Office, be cool and say…” [That’s way too easy].
George H. W. Bush: “Don’t say anything that begins with, ‘Read my lips…’. Like maybe, ‘Read my lips, no lobbyists in my administration.’"
Ronald Reagan: “Get the hell out of my White House you Pinko-Commie!”
Jimmy Carter: “Just try to be nice to everyone…and…well…I…I really didn’t know what I was doing when I was in the White House so, maybe you better listen to Reagan.”
Richard Nixon: “Get rid of that Blackberry. Evidence. Evidence.”
Franklin Roosevelt: “Call all your Socialist plans something catchy like the New Deal and no one will notice. Heck, my policies took the country from a depression into a Great Depression and I still was able to blame that schlep Hoover. Do the same with Bush.”
James Madison: “You, Pelosi, and Lefty Judges-- READ THE CONSTITUTION…I wrote it for a reason. Follow it!”
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Don’t Worry Ahmed, You Were Not Part of the Bush Administration: You Have Nothing to Worry About Here.
January 20, 2009 at noon, “Change We Can Believe In”, will finally, mercifully take place on the steps of the US Congress. Barack Hussein Obama (Oh, wait am I allowed to use his middle name, yet?) will become the 44th President of the United States and will usher in a period of harmony and peace, one in which the country will be brought together in unity, foregoing partisan attacks and politics….umm…uhhh…
THIS BREAKING NEWS: Representative John Conyers (D-MI), chairman of the House Judiciary Committee announced Friday that he will be investigating the Bush Administration for supposedly breaking the law by taking the country to war with Iraq and for “instituting aggressive anti-terror initiatives.”
Well, so much for the unity…that lasted all of, let’s do the math, negative four days of the Obama Administration. So, Saddam Hussein was the most vile dictator since Stalin, Hitler, and Pol Pot bit the dust. He defied multiple UN Resolutions, actively sought ways in which to acquire nuclear, chemical, and biological weapons—yes, those of you with Bush-derangement syndrome, he did (see: Israel takes out Osirak nuclear facility and Hussein gasses thousands of Kurds). He was warned for years to comply with UN mandates and even was slapped on the hand through the use of air raids by the Clinton Administration—oh, but that was okay since a Democrat President did it; surely the wisdom of Solomon rests solely with the Left.
Yet, to Conyers and other Liberals it seems that Hussein (Saddam, not Barack) was simply a victim of the war-mongering, Constitution ignoring, ignorant, law-breaking Neo-Cons and their desire to take over the oil in the Middle East so the Bush family could profit. Bush be damned, not Hussein. By the way, read this article http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/3872201.stm it should shed a little light on the falsehood that NO evidence of Hussein re-constituting a WMD program was ever found in Iraq.
This accusation by Conyers of “aggressive anti-terror initiative[s]” coupled with the Obama Administration’s sudden sympathy for captured terrorists (IE: shutting down Gitmo and soon to be gutting of the CIA) led me to imagine what the first interrogation of a terror suspect will look like under Attorney General Eric Holder.
FBI AGENT: Hello Ahmed, my name is Agent Rogers, I will be your interrogator…uh…inquisitor…uh…questioner…uh…we’ll chat
TERRORIST: Death to America!
FBI AGENT: So Ahmed, tell us about the next plot to kill Americans.
TERRORIST: Die you vile scum. Death to the Great Satan and to the Zionist trash occupying Palestine.
FBI AGENT: Oh, Ahmed, you make me laugh [jovial laughter]. I know we Americans probably caused you to think this way. I am sure you were sitting at a coffee shop in Riyadh, ready to go to work at your job as a business consultant for a giant oil conglomerate when suddenly you read about Gitmo in the New York Times and decided to give up that life of luxury you have and kill Americans. So, we are very sorry.
TERRORIST: Someday I will cut out your tongue, Devil. Allahu Akbar!
FBI AGENT: [Jovial laughter] Ok Ahmed, now will you please tell me about the plot?
TERRORIST: Never, you will have to torture me.
FBI AGENT: Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down the “Waterboard Train” there, Ahmed. We don’t torture in this country because we know that if we treat you right your compatriots will treat captured American soldiers in the same manner.
TERRORIST: If we get our hands on an American invader we will cut off his head on TV and drag his naked corpse through the street for all the world to see. By the way I want a copy of the Holy Koran
[4 hours later after a correct translation of the Koran is found, Ahmed has eaten a lunch consisting of steak and potatoes, took a quiet nap, prayed, and made his one phone call—strangely to an unregistered cell phone in the Pansheer Valley of Pakistan, the questioning continues]
FBI AGENT: So, we have treated you well, will you tell us about the plot to kill thousands of Americans now.
TERRORIST: By the way, you pointed me in the wrong direction earlier when I prayed. When will the ACLU be here.
FBI AGENT: Easy buddy…honest mistake. How about if I add a nap every two hours of questioning instead of every four and we make this all go away. By the way are you comfortable.
TERRORIST: This chair is kind of hard.
[2 hours later after a softer chair more to Ahmed’s liking is found and the agreed upon nap is again taken, the questioning continues]
TERRORIST: You know Rogers, you are not a bad man. I kill all Americans except for you.
FBI AGENT: Well, thanks Ahmed.
TERRORIST:[Pause, slap on the knee]. Ha! Got you. I kill you too.. and your family. And, you had better begin addressing me as Ahmed bin Ishtar the Great and end all your sentences with Allahu Akbar or I will sue.
FBI AGENT: Yes sir, Mr. Ishtar the Great. Now since I have been so nice to you, will you please tell me what the next plot is going to be…oh yeah, Allahu Akbar.
TERRORIST: That is better Rogers…and…no.
[Later]
HOLDER: Have we broken through, any info?
FBI AGENT: No sir, he just won’t break. He’s a tough nut. Allahu Akbar.
HOLDER: Huh?
FBI AGENT: Nevermind.
HOLDER Oh well, I have more important things to do. I think I might finally be able to get Cheney for the Valerie Plame thing. I will Waterboard his ass if I have to.
THIS BREAKING NEWS: Representative John Conyers (D-MI), chairman of the House Judiciary Committee announced Friday that he will be investigating the Bush Administration for supposedly breaking the law by taking the country to war with Iraq and for “instituting aggressive anti-terror initiatives.”
Well, so much for the unity…that lasted all of, let’s do the math, negative four days of the Obama Administration. So, Saddam Hussein was the most vile dictator since Stalin, Hitler, and Pol Pot bit the dust. He defied multiple UN Resolutions, actively sought ways in which to acquire nuclear, chemical, and biological weapons—yes, those of you with Bush-derangement syndrome, he did (see: Israel takes out Osirak nuclear facility and Hussein gasses thousands of Kurds). He was warned for years to comply with UN mandates and even was slapped on the hand through the use of air raids by the Clinton Administration—oh, but that was okay since a Democrat President did it; surely the wisdom of Solomon rests solely with the Left.
Yet, to Conyers and other Liberals it seems that Hussein (Saddam, not Barack) was simply a victim of the war-mongering, Constitution ignoring, ignorant, law-breaking Neo-Cons and their desire to take over the oil in the Middle East so the Bush family could profit. Bush be damned, not Hussein. By the way, read this article http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/3872201.stm it should shed a little light on the falsehood that NO evidence of Hussein re-constituting a WMD program was ever found in Iraq.
This accusation by Conyers of “aggressive anti-terror initiative[s]” coupled with the Obama Administration’s sudden sympathy for captured terrorists (IE: shutting down Gitmo and soon to be gutting of the CIA) led me to imagine what the first interrogation of a terror suspect will look like under Attorney General Eric Holder.
FBI AGENT: Hello Ahmed, my name is Agent Rogers, I will be your interrogator…uh…inquisitor…uh…questioner…uh…we’ll chat
TERRORIST: Death to America!
FBI AGENT: So Ahmed, tell us about the next plot to kill Americans.
TERRORIST: Die you vile scum. Death to the Great Satan and to the Zionist trash occupying Palestine.
FBI AGENT: Oh, Ahmed, you make me laugh [jovial laughter]. I know we Americans probably caused you to think this way. I am sure you were sitting at a coffee shop in Riyadh, ready to go to work at your job as a business consultant for a giant oil conglomerate when suddenly you read about Gitmo in the New York Times and decided to give up that life of luxury you have and kill Americans. So, we are very sorry.
TERRORIST: Someday I will cut out your tongue, Devil. Allahu Akbar!
FBI AGENT: [Jovial laughter] Ok Ahmed, now will you please tell me about the plot?
TERRORIST: Never, you will have to torture me.
FBI AGENT: Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down the “Waterboard Train” there, Ahmed. We don’t torture in this country because we know that if we treat you right your compatriots will treat captured American soldiers in the same manner.
TERRORIST: If we get our hands on an American invader we will cut off his head on TV and drag his naked corpse through the street for all the world to see. By the way I want a copy of the Holy Koran
[4 hours later after a correct translation of the Koran is found, Ahmed has eaten a lunch consisting of steak and potatoes, took a quiet nap, prayed, and made his one phone call—strangely to an unregistered cell phone in the Pansheer Valley of Pakistan, the questioning continues]
FBI AGENT: So, we have treated you well, will you tell us about the plot to kill thousands of Americans now.
TERRORIST: By the way, you pointed me in the wrong direction earlier when I prayed. When will the ACLU be here.
FBI AGENT: Easy buddy…honest mistake. How about if I add a nap every two hours of questioning instead of every four and we make this all go away. By the way are you comfortable.
TERRORIST: This chair is kind of hard.
[2 hours later after a softer chair more to Ahmed’s liking is found and the agreed upon nap is again taken, the questioning continues]
TERRORIST: You know Rogers, you are not a bad man. I kill all Americans except for you.
FBI AGENT: Well, thanks Ahmed.
TERRORIST:[Pause, slap on the knee]. Ha! Got you. I kill you too.. and your family. And, you had better begin addressing me as Ahmed bin Ishtar the Great and end all your sentences with Allahu Akbar or I will sue.
FBI AGENT: Yes sir, Mr. Ishtar the Great. Now since I have been so nice to you, will you please tell me what the next plot is going to be…oh yeah, Allahu Akbar.
TERRORIST: That is better Rogers…and…no.
[Later]
HOLDER: Have we broken through, any info?
FBI AGENT: No sir, he just won’t break. He’s a tough nut. Allahu Akbar.
HOLDER: Huh?
FBI AGENT: Nevermind.
HOLDER Oh well, I have more important things to do. I think I might finally be able to get Cheney for the Valerie Plame thing. I will Waterboard his ass if I have to.
Thank You and Good Luck
Thank you to President George W. Bush who served this nation for 8 years through some of the most difficult times in recent history. At times he was not given enough credit for his leadership and was unfairly blamed for things out of his scope of influence. His leadership following the terrorist attacks of 9-11 should never be forgotten. Like all Presidents, he made mistakes. But, this country has been safe since 9-11-2001 and for that, he should be thanked.
Good luck to President Barack Obama. While his views may differ from mine at times (like pretty much all the time), he is my, and our, President. I wish him all of God's blessings and the wisom of Solomon as he makes decisions for this nation. I pray they be "Right".
PS. Mr. President, if you need advice, feel free to suscribe to this blog :)
Good luck to President Barack Obama. While his views may differ from mine at times (like pretty much all the time), he is my, and our, President. I wish him all of God's blessings and the wisom of Solomon as he makes decisions for this nation. I pray they be "Right".
PS. Mr. President, if you need advice, feel free to suscribe to this blog :)
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